I miss my family so often
Because of the malnutrition
We used to live in the noble life
At every time I think I cry

I still do not understand why
Pol Pot killed his own people and tried
To wipe out the Cambodian nation
With many races in combination

He tried to show off his action
Of the best leader with conscience
So other leaders could follow
He made us fear death and sorrow

My heart feels hurt and very hollow
And my blood pressure goes so low
This is not my imagination
I miss very much my parents

Along with my siblings in addition
I feel bad and cry without question
Why I am suffering so badly
Who do not love your own family

This karma goes on continually
It does not make us too easy
To forget anything in the past
And go on our lives not so fast

The lives of people did not last
In the mass of deaths in broadcast
I wish karma come in my good dream
That my family came back I will scream

Very loud and we all will swim
In the clean water toward a beam
Of bright lights which are far away
I will always continue to pray

That my dream comes true and we all stay
Together forever in good way
The more I think this the more I cry
As hard as I can and do not smile

I wish I was Angel and could fly
To bring back my family lives
I know that this is my confusion
And make my dream into conclusion

I think I get into frustration
I feel this in bad situation
Oh karma why you make me feel bad
The more I think the more I get mad

Then I cry and I feel very sad
How can you punish me like I am dead
I miss my family very badly
I do not know if I can flee

To meet my family and you can see
How happy I am at this degree
I beg you karma to make dream come true
All the families get stuck like glue

Never separate like the sky is blue
Which does not turn gray or black dew
I do not know why I cry so hard
My family was already apart

People might tell me to be smart
Now I can draw them as an art
As family pictures if I can
And show them to all the fan

So I can look at these pictures again
And again and put them on big stands
I wish in any reincarnation
We stay together without separation

No matter what in any condition
We live as one in a big union
Of generations forever
And ever so we do not suffer

In my childhood life I felt better
In the luxury life forever
I never thought that our lives
Turned upside down from the bright sky

Into just a blink of an eye
Almost all of my family died
Except my oldest sister
My nephew and I lived further

I fought my life to take them over
For my nephew to see his father
Who has lived in America
I promised my mom dead wish afar

To take him to my brother that far
Across the continents during the war
Do you think it was impossible
For me to solve this hard puzzle

Who is in the world with trouble
During the war that I would be able
To take him across the ocean
And my sister with my confident

I fought my life for them at any moment
To keep them alive very constant
I sacrificed my life during that time
For my whole family of any problem

I always looked for food and saved for them
To let them eat together at the same
Time as I sat for left over
I sacrificed myself and I would suffer

To death because of my sister
And my nephew to live forever
I would die because of starvation
They ate food I found without question

I ate golden husk without nutrition
Why karma put me into this condition
I miss my family who died
I miss this event and I cried

I cried then that I sacrificed
I cry now that I was unjustified
Everybody fed for oneself
And never shared for anybody else

They never shared food when they felt
Hungry by not going to hell
Anyone found food for each own life
Each one did this for his or her own mind

To try to eat to stay alive
But for me I did things for them to survive
If I died to look food for them
The Khmer Rouge would kill me for that crime

What were they going at that time
They had problem with Pol Pot system
This was not karma to put me in this action
I put myself into this situation

I loved them without consideration
I put my life into this condition
This was my karma but not my fate
For any action I made

For them who put me for their bait
To use me for their food as their gate
This was maybe my destiny
Because I love my family

When I had food for them they were happy
And I would get beaten so easy
This was not one time I got hurt
It was every time when the spies heard

The pops of rice from neighbor word
Sounded like popcorn or chirp of the birds
This was my karma for somebody else
Who made my life into the hall

They were hungry they wanted to tell
Me to look for food like a doorbell
To push anytime when they wanted food
Not only that they also needed wood

Or they wanted to eat potato roots
If I could find to release and soothe
Their hungriness and they would smile
Replacing food and fruit for my life

I never could sleep day and night
Between work time I had to find
Anything including water
As noble family I should suffer

The starvation pushed them further
And used my life as they would prefer
No luxury family anymore
It was our lives we had before

I either refused or I looked for
Anything and I got out the door
My fate made me for this reason
I loved them for our relation

At no matter what circumstance
I used my life for the starvation
At anytime they had food to eat
And I was the only one who got hit

I did not have food a little bit
The Khmer Rouge always would like to beat
Because they thought I got the food
And they were happy with good mood

To beat me up with a piece of wood
Or sometimes kicked me with their boots
Karma oh karma I needed my father
Also gentle hug from my mother

Or very nice word from my brother
Or crying softly from my sisters
My karma or fate or destiny
Made my heart into this degree

Because I loved my family
I could not say a word or disagree
My face was this punishment
I hurt bad with my sentiment

I received this harassment
With empty stomach as a compliment
One time I worked out of village
My family got food and ate

The Khmer Rouge got into their rage
The exchanged food they would manage
That was my cloth they got that clue
Their minds really came out of the blue

One kicked my face with one foot shoe
I got fainted and my face got bruised
This was my karma I would agree
Because I wanted my family

Had food to eat and felt happy
So that way they would get hungry
The monsters did without hesitation
They hurt people without consideration

They punished us with explanation
And they did this with enjoyment
I said no word when I suffered
They did this game as they preferred

My karma did not help me when I got hurt
I got squeezed like a little bird
I did not know what I sacrificed
And protected my family for my life

I did nothing wrong with this pride
And I paid for them with bad price
To use my life for their starvation
I should do for my situation

Instead I gave them food as union
I did not make my own karma
They gave it to me in addition
So they could live that long so far

I did not have food to eat like a cat
Did not have gas in this era
I took care for them but not for myself
And they used me to do things for themselves

Like I put everything in the shelves
They put my life into a hell
They really changed my own destiny
I should not help them as you can see

But they were only my family
Who was my first priority
Their lives came first before my life
Their suffering got into my mind

And I did this for them I would die
They did not know how to do anything
The more I think the more I cry
I did not want to see their suffering